


john winchesters journal

by y0urfr13ndlygallawhore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Parent John Winchester, Gay Nuns, Homophobic John Winchester, I hate John Winchester with a passion, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, john winchester journal, that man does not deserve happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0urfr13ndlygallawhore/pseuds/y0urfr13ndlygallawhore
Summary: Based on John Winchester's journal entry from Dean's seventeenth birthday
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	john winchesters journal

This is a standard kill. Dean was told as he got to the motel his dad told him what he was hunting and gave him the facts of the case. 

"Two old nuns. Fell in love. Then killed themselves. Find the bones and burn em." John said as he ended the phone call. Dean was frozen the phone was still stuck to his ear as he took in what his father had said. He just turned 17 today and he thought that this was John's way of saying that he trusted him now. This was Dean's first solo hunt after he "came out" to John. He didn't do that whole speech about how he was truly finding himself and he wanted to just love who he wanted because words was never Dean's strong suit. Instead he opted for the low key story about someone at school that he got with and slipped in the male pronouns. John hadn't said anything. Just looked at him and they didn't speak about it again. Dean was stupid to think John would ever accept him. 

His first solo hunt and it was to kill gay women who found love. Dean took a deep breath to curb any emotions from showing themselves. These were still ghosts he told himself, they were still killing people and he needed to make sure that they were stopped from doing it again. 

He stood above their graves, they were buried next to each other. He decided to dig them both up at the same time to avoid the risk of burning one and pissing off the other. It took him an hour and half to get both caskets completely dug up. He opened them both and looked at the skeletons. They had both been stripped on their nun clothing and instead replaced by commoners clothing and Dean felt another rush of sadness. Everything that they had done had been completely ripped apart by the fact that they found love in their same gender. 

All of a sudden he felt himself being lifted off the ground and his back collided with the ground about 20 feet away from the graves. Two women appeared in front of him. They were stilled dressed in their nun clothing despite the way that they bodies were dressed. The first one reached down to his chest right above his heart. 

"You people and your prejudices always get away with hating those with only love in their hearts. Maybe we should take out yours." She spat out. Dean empathized with the young women he wanted nothing more than to hurt his dad right now for not letting him be who he wants. 

Dean didn't realize that he was crying until the other woman points it out. "Now the hating man is scared of our love how times have changed." 

"Please. I'm like you." Dean sobs, letting his emotions finally bubble to the surface as he comes to terms with how scared his is to die without experiencing love from someone. His dad, his mom, a partner. He just wants to be loved. Sam loves him but deep down when given the chance he is going to leave Dean. He needs someone to love him unconditionally without leaving him. "I just want to love to be loved like you."

He watched as the women began to back away from him. "If you're like us then why are you so intent on killing us?" 

"Because your hurting people and I need to put a stop to it I can't disappoint my dad anymore please. This can't be a good life for you, but if I do this I can let you be happy. You can live together in heaven forever together." Dean was just projecting now, he wanted that all for himself but it is just as satisfying to give it to other people. 

They looked at each other and then walked Dean over to their grave sites. The stood next to each other holding hands looking into each others eyes with more love than Dean had ever seen two people share. Both of them looked peaceful and content to finally be put to rest. Dean looked on in envy and cried over something he wouldn't experience shielding his true self away from people. The flames dried his cheeks when he decided he needed to get back to the motel. 

He reported to John another job finished, " 'Bout damn time this was a one day job and you have been there for a week. Come back we are in Maine." Once again John hung up leaving Dean sitting alone in his room. He never wanted John to be disappointed in him, he needed his reassurance so Dean decided that he would never fall for another men. Show his dad that he could be the man he wanted to be. He could have the perfect apple pie life, wife, kids the whole nine yards. Then he dad would be proud of him. 

He threw that all away for Castiel because John's disapproval doesn't mean shit when he has his angel by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate this man with a burning passion and it grinds my gears that he made it into heaven. This man deserves to rot for all eternity.


End file.
